5 Tips for Changing the Habit of Comparing Yourself to Others

5 Tips for Changing the Habit of Comparing Yourself to Others

Staraxy Team Feb 9, 2024

In a world saturated with social media feeds, flawless images, and stories of success at every turn, it's easy to fall into the habit of comparing ourselves to others. This habit can lead to negative self-talk, decreased self-esteem, and an impact on our mental health. Comparing ourselves to others is a natural human tendency – it’s a way we assess our progress and standing in society. But how do we step out of this cycle? Today, we will explore five practical tips to help you change the habit of comparing yourself to others.

1. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude is a powerful tool for changing the comparison habit. By focusing on what we have, rather than what we lack, we can shift our mindset from one of scarcity to one of abundance. Start a gratitude journal and, each day, write down three things you're thankful for. These don't have to be grandiose; it could be as simple as a cup of your favorite coffee, a smile from a kind stranger, or the warmth of the sun on your skin. Sometimes, it's the smallest things that bring the most joy.

Practicing gratitude helps anchor us in the present and appreciate our own lives without feeling the need to measure them against someone else's. It serves as a daily reminder that our self-worth isn't a sum of our achievements or possessions but lies in our capacity to appreciate the present and find joy in the simplicity of being. We also train the mind to focus on the positive aspects of our lives, building a habit of finding something positive in every day, no matter how small.

2. Set Personal Goals

Set personal goals that are meaningful to you, not because they look good on social media or because they're what others expect of you. Whether it's pursuing a hobby that brings you joy, aiming for a career milestone that feels significant, or working towards personal improvement in health, skills, or knowledge, these goals should be about improving your life and happiness.

This mindset shifts away from external validation to internal satisfaction. It acknowledges that while inspiration can be found in the achievements of others, your worth and progress are not measured against theirs. Your goals, your efforts, and your achievements are valuable because they represent your commitment to living a life that is true to yourself.

3. Cultivate Empathy: Celebrating Others' Success

Empathy allows us to feel happy for others' achievements and successes without feeling threatened or lessened by them. It teaches us that someone else's success does not equate to our failure, but rather, it's a moment of joy that we can share in.

Celebrating Others

When we genuinely celebrate the successes of those around us, we create a sense of community and connection. This act of celebration can remove the walls of envy and comparison that we build around ourselves. It’s about recognizing that life isn’t a competition but a collective journey where each person's success adds value to the shared human experience.

Mindfulness and Meditation

Practicing mindfulness and meditation is an effective way to cultivate empathy. These practices help us center our thoughts, calm our minds, and focus on the present. Through mindfulness, we can appreciate the joy in others' lives without immediately relating it back to our own experiences or desires. Meditation, particularly loving-kindness meditation, encourages us to send positive thoughts to ourselves and others, building a mindset of goodwill and empathy towards everyone, including those whose successes might have triggered feelings of inadequacy in us before.

Understanding Hidden Struggles

An essential part of cultivating empathy involves acknowledging that everyone has their own set of struggles and challenges, many of which we do not see. This realization can change how we view others' achievements and our responses to them. Every success story has its untold chapters of hardship, sacrifice, and resilience. By remembering that the visible accomplishments of others are just the tip of the iceberg, we foster a more compassionate perspective. This understanding can diminish feelings of envy and inadequacy, replacing them with a deeper sense of connection and shared human experience.

4. Limit Social Media Consumption

Social media can be a significant catalyst for comparison. Limiting your consumption can drastically reduce the opportunities for comparison. Try setting specific times when you allow yourself to check social media, or take periodic breaks altogether.

Additionally, curate your feed to include accounts that inspire and uplift you, rather than those that spark feelings of envy or inadequacy. It's okay to unfollow or mute accounts that don't contribute positively to your mental health.

5. Surrounding Yourself with Positivity

The people we surround ourselves with can greatly influence our thoughts and behaviors. Seek out and foster relationships with individuals who uplift you and encourage you to focus on your own path. A supportive community can act as a buffer against the negative effects of comparison.

Engage in conversations about dreams, goals, and personal growth rather than material achievements or social status. Encouraging each other's individual journeys can create a more positive environment and help reinforce the value of focusing on personal progress over comparison.


Changing the habit of comparing yourself to others is no small feat, but with awareness, practice, and patience, it's entirely possible. The only person you should compare yourself to is the person you were yesterday. Focus on your growth, celebrate your achievements, and remember that your value does not diminish because of others. Your journey is unique, and it's worth embracing every step of the way.